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Hi, papers are finally over and ahead of me, is two weeks of holiday. I feel like shit now. Actually, i’ve been feeling like shit for the whole week, to be exact, ever since i know SJ is coming. Today, just got to be the worst. I knew it. The very moment i missed the lift by that few seconds, the very moment i got shocked by that damn cat when i stepped out of the lift this morning, i knew it. And i’m even starting to blame the cute guy i saw this morning before my papers. I thought seeing him was good omen. But i freaking left a 12-marks question almost blank. FOR A 40 MARKS-PAPER? Now tell me, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF ME PASSING? And, all the other things just have to add on. I think the post project frustrations came along as well. FOR ALL THE EMOTIONS AND IRRITATION I’VE BEEN SUPPRESSING ARE SURFACING NOW. The only slightly better thing that happened today was Kate’s call and their intention to ask me out for a brunch.
I was suppose to meet Jo today to get a book from him but he ended up not replying to my msgs and then i ended up without the book i wanted to spend my two-weeks holiday reading. Not a big deal, but i get irritated cause things didn’t go according to MY plan. Then, ever since two weeks ago, i’ve been waiting and hoping and waiting and hoping every single day, for a way for me to get to the showcase this coming Sunday. But i know i’m not and though it may sound ridiculous, but i’m really upset. Or should i say, really disappointed. Either way, the feeling is real and i’m really not getting over it, yet. I sounded so stupid whining but i really wonder how i am going to handle Sunday alone. This is not real. I’m so sad!!!!! There goes my last struggle to make myself feel better on such a sucky cranky night. I’m gone for now. I WANT TO SEE THEM. SO FUCKING BAD :(
OK, I FEEL LIKE A BOMB NOW, READY TO EXPLODE ANYTIME.
BYE.