X

Im the kind of person who will find myself sort of reasons to regret, or not, before and after making a decision.

Today is the last day of my work, after 1 year 25 days with the company. And for someone sentimental(yes i would like to think that i am)like me, i thought that my thoughts and feelings would be in a mess. But well, i was already on the train(to work), hoping to quickly get the fuck over with today.

Thoughts are pretty straight forward right now. This is, for the first time, i actually analyzed my decision and situation in way so much details and knowing that this might not really be the best choice or timing to quit, but yet at the same time, couldn't find myself enough reasons to stay either. Not because of the people i'm working with, but that i have to face so many, sometimes really rude and nasty people every single day. You have no clue when they will come, but they come without signs, and that has been keeping me tensed and stressed up for the longest time i can remember. If you were to ask me now, I think i would rather face any office politics than having to put up with all the rudeness and attitudes from customers. I mean, why should i put up with all these? why should i "get used to" all these? The boss tried to convince me that it is actually all the same, whether its politics or facing rude customers, but nah, i know too well. I would understand his move though, because that's his last resort to make me change my mind.

About my resignation, the boss and i had a more-that-an-hour talk in his office, we are probably just lacked of two cups of coffee. I can see him trying his best to persuade me and digging out all the shits and possible reasons that have led me to this decision, all at the same time. I can only say he succeeded partially because he dug out almost all the reasons for my leaving from me but, didnt managed to make me stay. No, of course i didn't tell him that his manager is so irresponsible. Shouldn't implicate anyone into this whole thing.

This past year is like a sneak preview of the society for me. I would say that it is definitely a lesson and an experience. At the end of the day, i still want to conclude that most people are self-centered and thoughtless. Like, they don't even put the slightest bit of consideration in for you. I don't know if its because they don't know how to or simply too ill-mannered. Either way, its pathetic.

There are, people who put words into your mouth, people who twist facts and words, people who "bully" you when they know that you are new, people who talk to you like you owe them everything in the world, people who never stop asking for freebies, people who push responsibilities to others when shits happen, people who are bored, people who act like they are so high up there when they are actually not, people who are simply rude and the list goes on..

For whatever reasons there might be, i would like to try understanding. Even until the last few days of work, i was still struggling, to be understanding. But it didn't bring me anywhere far from where i was though. So i ended up smiling at the uncle who was picking on me on my second last day of work, thinking, yea, this is it, this is where it shall end, no regrets.

I guess i've had enough. One year of all the rubbish that i've put up with. I've been shouted at by customers, 've cried, 've been picked on, 've been scolded by customers for things that i didnt do and all the shits that i don't deserve. Really. Its disgusting.

Ask me where i'm going from here? No idea yet. But at least im finally out of that place and that's all that should matter at this point of time because its already 1.55AM and i need to wake up at 5AM later. Sleeeeeppppppp.